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looking for brutal honesty

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01:11
Jan 20th 2013


Derek "Digi" McRoberts

Ayrshire, Scotland

MLGX Completionist
MLGX Completionist

posts 327

1

Post edited 01:13 – Jan 20th 2013 by Derek "Digi" McRoberts


Ayup guys,

my only new years resolution this year was to finish at least one of the many projects I undertake, but never manage to see to fruition. To this end, I have converted my old typewritten work to my new website and to that end I would really appreciate some truthful feedback, even if it is negative.

As such I would love it if you guys would look over my work and let me know honestly what you think either on a comment on the site or even in a reply here.

http://digitalpariahuk.wordpre…../prologue/

http://digitalpariahuk.wordpre…..chapter-1/

09:26
Jan 20th 2013


ShatnerzBassoon

Chesterfield

Ep 45: Boy Band Baby Oil

posts 545

2

Dropped a comment on your site digi… nice work laugh

15:00
Jan 23rd 2013


Hugo Rune

Retirement Home

MLGX Completionist
MLGX Completionist

posts 1750

3

Writing dialog that effortlessly scans is a bloody mystery to me.

I think you understand it a lot better than I do but there's a way to go.

Sorry brother.

18:09
Jan 23rd 2013


Tai

Bergen,Norway

Ep 72: Constant Craven

posts 160

4

Ill giver you a forreigners opinion.

Reading it I'm immediatly fascinated. I like it when the writer takes time to explain how things look and feel, it makes the story feel more vivid. But I did struggle to comprehend some of the words. By Norwegian standards my English vocabulary is pretty decent, but it was hard to get a hold of the context in the story.

That said what I did get was very well written and I'de love to read the rest.

Tailors

22:48
Jan 24th 2013


Derek "Digi" McRoberts

Ayrshire, Scotland

MLGX Completionist
MLGX Completionist

posts 327

5

Thanks for the feedback guys. 

 

Hugo, Dialogue has always been my achilles heel to be honest. I expected most of the feedback to be about that, but surprisingly, it wasn't.

 

Go figure. 

 

Tai, admittedly, a lot of the names of people and places are completely fictitious, but if its not those that are stumping you, could you maybe give some examples of words that have tripped you up? 

 

Its still a work in progress, and with the amount of good feedback I'm getting, I will keep pushing myself to write more. Maybe I'll get the whole thing finished, revise it a couple of times to iron out the kinks and see if I can justify my novel by getting the damn thing published. laugh

 

One can only hope.

23:15
Jan 24th 2013


DrunkRogue68

Teesside

Ep 47: 2 guys, 1 mic

posts 510

6

I'm not a writer myself, but I do love to read and this is looking pretty good. Would love to see more.

Keep it up smile

20:57
Jan 31st 2013


Tai

Bergen,Norway

Ep 72: Constant Craven

posts 160

7

Ill try to make a list:

 

battlements

torrential

scabbard

light veil of hessian through

A spartan streak of blood

auburn hair – Possibly a colour?

protruded

 stifled

 transient form

 

Some of these words i can vaguely guess what means but its makes for hard reading. Its all off the prologue.

 

Tai

11:10
Feb 14th 2013


Blackbeltjonzey

London

Ep 87: Heavy Wayne

posts 61

8

Left you some comments dude,

 

Hope they help wink

19:55
Feb 14th 2013


GoddTodd

Emeryville, CA USA

Community Manager

posts 1406

9

Post edited 20:25 – Feb 14th 2013 by GoddTodd


I haven't looked at the links yet but if you want some writing advice, the most important one is to simply write every day, no matter what.

There's a creative part of your brain, that many people think of as their "muse." It's this creative wellspring where dreams may come. Have you ever been writing and it almost feels like someone else is reciting to you the story and you've just the vessel that's typing it out?

The best way to tap into that muse is to become good at opening and clearing out the portal to her.

There is a great method for this suggested by James Cameron's daughter in her book The Artist's Way. 

It's called morning pages.

When you first wake up in the morning your brain is as close as you're going to get to that dream state. Now is the best time to practice taping into that part of your brain. In the book she's more metaphysical about this, but regardless of what you think your muse is, it's there, and you need to practice taking dictation from it.

So what you want to do every morning when you first wake up is automatic writing for five minutes. It absolutely does not matter what you write. The most important thing is to never let your pencil stop writing. If you're totally stumped, just write random words or the same word again and again until something new starts coming out of your pencil. But feel free to write about your dreams, your life, your hopes and dreams, short stories, whatever. 

Just make sure the journal is secure or that you trust everyone in the house not to read it. Especially your wife. This book should be a sacred place where anything can be said, even if it's not true or completely false. You should never be fearful of repercussions for what you're writing because that will hold you back from your flow.

 

I'm not going to guarantee what you'll get out of this but try it for a week and see what happens.

 

Also, Stephen King's book, On Writing, is one of the best things I've read on the subject.
It's a very personable and enjoyable read as well.

http://gamercards.exophase.com/200772.pnghttp://www.yourgamercards.net/trophy/a/GoddTodd.png

10:28
Oct 17th 2013


Derek "Digi" McRoberts

Ayrshire, Scotland

MLGX Completionist
MLGX Completionist

posts 327

10

Post edited 10:33 – Oct 17th 2013 by Derek "Digi" McRoberts


So,

Dredging up this post from the past. When I started the project, I had no idea that I would be changing job, relocating and trying to sell my old house in the months following.

 

That said, I have finally found myself a bit of time to get the next chapter done, so once again I will throw myself on the collective minds of the community to evaluate my worth once again.

 

Feedback would be, once again, greatly appreciated.

 

http://digitalpariahuk.wordpress.com/my-other-work/unfinished-novel/chapter2/

16:33
Oct 25th 2013


BelgianExile

Belgium. Which is shit.

Ep 65: Boingy boingy

posts 230

11

I'm not a writer either mate, but have put together a few monumentous piles of shite for degrees. I know it's not the best comparison but the only way that I could do it in the end (and I'm talking about 2x20,000 word theses) was to get the structure down, make some notes on the structure to keep me on track, and then write the bastard until it's done. After that the editing began, and words were culled and reorganised without changing the content, just to make it read better.

 

I don't know if that helps any, but it got me through. It's your book dude – if you're stressing about how it looks to others in the first couple of chapters maybe completing it will be difficult.

16:36
Oct 25th 2013


BelgianExile

Belgium. Which is shit.

Ep 65: Boingy boingy

posts 230

12

Also, if you share it, you risk anal retards like me pointing out grammatical errors (like the missing apostrophe in the last line of Chapter 2 (the advantage belongs to the master, therefore a possessive apostrophe is required)).

 

It's pretty good work though…!

10:00
Aug 7th 2014


FrankDDougherty

avatar
Ep 94: Spray on pants

posts 27

13

Well, I love the writings. But to be honest, I don't like the theme. It is too plain.

I have gaming laptops under 1000 and it is really great!



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