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Teej Tests…..Apocalyptic Path: Trails of Fears

July 24th, 2013 by

Hello Kitty Pink Punk Teej ArtThis game from the get go is the product of when someone smokes far too much wacky baccy and plays a mix of Borderlands, Fallout and Pokémon. The elitists in the world came up with a plan to kill everybody and make the world a better place. Of course this didn’t go right and you are left with an apocalyptic world. A group of guys have decided they want to get from one side of America to Salt Lake City in a car pulled by roaches. But to do this they must travel a dangerous path filled with bandits, caves, random old men sat on the side of the road and old rundown buildings that you can raid.


This sounds fun, but it’s really not! The game itself is randomly generated. And certain situations can come all too early in the game such as a team member dying or the roaches that are pulling your car can up and do one and then you will be left at a crawling speed which means the game will take forever to get to the next port of call in the game. You have to ration food and water and rely on scavenging and raiding old buildings to carry on.  One thing that blows my mind about this game is that your car is being pulled by roaches. This insinuates that you do not use the engine of the car and yet on my first play through the cars engine caught fire god knows how many times and my team members were being injured through trying to put it out. How I ask you, is this possible?! Also the amount of tires you need during this game is unbelievable, you can’t go 100km without a tire bursting and one of your team members breaking a leg through trying to repair the car? It’s like you are on a road trip from hell with people who really shouldn’t be allowed in the real world for fear of killing themselves by sitting down and doing nothing.

The fight scenes in this game are like a cheap version of the very first Pokémon game. They are boring and I found that if you just kept pressing fight constantly you would win anyhow. Your team members get injured during the fights but they always regain their HP ready for the next battle so battle items seem quite illogical.

Apocalyptic Pokemon

There are several stops on the way to Salt Lake City where you can go to the bar and talk to random people and they give you little hints and tips. You can also stay there and scavenge and get more resources or you can go to the shop and buy and sell items that you need for the journey. The best bet is to stock up on food water and wheels. Oh so many wheels!

If you run out of food and water the moral of your team becomes low and this can lead to them either walking away, starting fights with each other and one dying or someone just committing suicide as it seems like a good idea. Then this leaves you on your lonesome. You will probably catch dysentery and die and then it will be game over and you have to start the whole shebang again!…Which I would advise you not to because it is just more of the same and it’s very tiresome. Plus the music is annoying and it doesn’t change throughout the whole game and the controls are very clunky, you have a mouse pointer that you have to more around on the screen with your left stick.

Roach Coach

I really didn’t like this game, it sounded really good in the opening sequences but it was ultimately a let down. I found myself just sitting there for ages without anything to do except press continue on the screen. That was about the only thing that stopped me from falling asleep. And I wanna know how many legs it takes to get to Salt Lake City because according to my sources my team only had 10…At least 9 of them broke within the first few days of traveling. It just makes no sense!!!!

Disclosure: Midlife Gamer were supplied with a review code for Apocalyptic Path: Trails of Fears. The title was reviewed over the course of 1 week on a Xbox 360. 

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