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Game Releases 2011: What’s a Midlife Gamer to do?

July 27th, 2011 by

When you were a young a whippersnapper you could get up, play games, eat food, go to bed. The only thing stopping you was your parents and what did they know? And then you were an adolescent and the only thing to stop you playing games was… uh… playing.. well, look, you know. Either way, ten minutes later you were back on your games.

And then came adult hood. The only thing stopping you was your job, partner, spouse, kids, health problems, getting up in the night to use the bathroom, hangovers that last all day, mortgages, death, the state of the economy, divorces, separations, your boiler breaking,  commuting, getting that rash checked out, the price of peppers (it’s like £2 for three of the fuckers! And the green ones are shit. Jesus. Whoever has shares in peppers…), moving house, paying bills, etc, etc, etc. You game when you can but that’s fine because you know what, things aren’t as good as they used to be anyway. With their haircuts and music, who’d want to be young anyway. Right guys? Guys?

With limited time though, you pick and choose what to play, you get the well reviewed titles because your time is precious.  And maybe you get a pile of shame going but no worries, you’ll get round to them. But then a veritable flood of games get published all at once and it’s all you can do to keep your head above water.

Well. What we have in the next few months my friends is a veritable tsunami of games heading our way. And you’re going to need a plan…

Here are some of the highlights:

August 26: Deux Ex 3

September 2: Driver: San Francisco

September 9:  Dead Island, Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine, Resistance 3

September 20: Gears of War 3

September 30: FIFA 12, Ico and Shadow of the Colossus

October 7: Dark Souls, The Darkness II, Rage

October 21: Batman: Arkham City

October 25: Battlefield 3

October: Forza 4

November 2: Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

November 8: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

November 11: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

November 15: Assassin’s Creed Revelations, Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary

November 18: Saints Row: The Third*

Fuck! That is a list of games that is quite staggering. Staggeringly expensive and staggeringly time-consuming.

Skyrim alone clocks in at 300 hours all in all. Even if you just do the main quest it’s 30 hours. For those that aren’t familiar with the Western concepts of time, that’s longer than it takes the moon to go round the Earth. The Earth! Factor in Gears multiplayer or Dark Souls’ considerable difficulty and basically you need to spend the next few months locked away. Desmond’s hatch has never looked more appealing. But not in that way. Grow up.

And if you preorder just a selection of these titles from Amazon (Dead Island, Dark Souls, Skyrim, Batman and Gears) it’s a cool £182.48. And think what I’ve left out.

But the upside of this mammoth release list is that the only way to get through the next few months of gaming is by using the extensive planning and time management skills that I’ve acquired since becoming an adult. So bad luck youth, with your limited understanding of Excel and the calendar in Outlook. There’s no way you’ll be able to maximise your productivity like me. I’ll have colour coded segments of my day with meals planned around games. Need to use the bathroom? It’s not scheduled. Found a side quest to help an elf? Not on the timetable. Maximizing time and gaming.

So best of luck youth, I’m taking back gaming for the next few months and what can you do to stop me? Eh? What’s that you say?

Ah, you have fuck all else to do… Damn!

Still, maybe if my boss could fire me I can block out all of October…

* For a complete list of releases and a handy way to flag up games that I’ve no interest in but you might think will be brilliant, go to http://www.eurogamer.net/releases.php

What are you going to play first?

This Community Content article was created by onionmurders, a member of our community. Community Content is your way of getting long-form writing and opinion out to the Midlife Gamer audience, an open platform to get something off your chest. For full guidelines on our editorial standards and how to create your own post, click here. The views expressed within are those of the author and not necessarily the opinions of the Midlife Gamer Staff.

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7 Responses to “Game Releases 2011: What’s a Midlife Gamer to do?”
  1. Do peppers really cost that much these days, I don’t eat the evil beggers.
    On topic though – who’d have thought the amount of high profile titles coming out in a little over a quarter of a year would be so epic.
    There are some ones there which I don’t mind coming back to when the industry decide to give us a break.

    For me thougn, out of that list, here are my day one’s

    Gears of War 3
    Dark Souls
    Forza 4
    Uncharted 3
    Assassins Creed.

    Thats a lot of gaming to get done…. I’m going to HAVE to leave Skyrim until over the festive period perhaps and lock myself away.

    Whats everyone else’s NEED / GREED list?

  2. My NEED list would be:

    Gears of War 3
    FIFA 12
    The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

    My GREED list would be:

    Saints Row: The Third

    There is a lot of good titles coming out but i think im able to wait until they come a little cheaper :)

  3. avatar DigitalPariah says:

    Hmm,

    My Q3 plan has pretty much been set in stone since May, so I have to go with the following.

    Sep 9 : Dead Island, that gives me 11 days to complete it before….
    Sep20: Gears of War 3, giving 17 days for getting the main campaign nailed ahead of…
    Oct 7: Dark Souls… doesn’t matter how long I give it, but plan for a huge chunk complete during the first month.
    Nov 2: Uncharted 3, Nail it in 10-15 hours then back to Dark Souls.
    Nov 11: Skyrim … (wave goodbye to all other games until 2013….)

  4. avatar Dave says:

    New baby arrives in a few weeks, I’m probably going to miss all of this :(

    I really want FIFA 12, Gears 3 and Uncharted 3, but really should finish 2 first….

  5. avatar Carl182 says:

    My pile of shame is too big for me to buy any more games, but I have an eye on Fifa 12.

  6. avatar Monopod says:

    The truest thing I’ve read in a long time.

    I’m lucky if I get a sweet hour at the end of the evening to shoot some zombies nowadays. In fact today I deliberately got up half an hour early so I could squeeze in a sneaky few minutes on Bastion before we prepare for the nursery run.

    Coming back to gaming after an 8 year lapse, not only is there a never ending list of great new titles, but a list as long as my arm of titles from the last few years I want/need to play. Only crippling finances (stupid mortgage, stupid nursery fees) has prevented me from amassing what would be the biggest pile of shame of all.

    So the moral is to be realistic: I’m going to commit to two new titles Deus Ex and Skyrim and maybe Rage (I have to give nod to a new Id title). Batman and Gears no matter how good, are just going to have to take their place in line.

    Keep saying this to yourself, if you’re a dad of small children (mine are 14 months and 3 and a half years old) and a husband, when they grow up a bit, you’ll be able to game with them and claim brownie points for entertaining the kids. Still there’s going to a long road before we play Resident Evil 5 co-op; my daughter raced into the front room the other day just as a chainsaw zombie prepared to saw my face off – I leapt for the remote faster than if I’d been caught watching hardcore porn.

  7. avatar Wormburper says:

    All comments I could not agree with more since the birth of my little girl 4mnths ago my gaming time has become even less than my drinking time and that’s pitifully low. I am currently sitting on a 26 game pile of shame which I seem unable to resist increasing with the wonders that grace us. That all said my good lady is taking the children to Poland to see her side of the family for August. so with any luck I should cream a few off that list in that time.

    As for peppers get ya ass down to ASDA they’re only a quid for 3.

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