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A Farmers Life for Me Episode 3

December 17th, 2010 by

Farming equipment is expensive, and the catch is without it you can’t utilise your land and crops to their fullest and your farm makes very little money. So after popping my first two cows – Zenzi and Pia – into my novelty sized supermarket trolley, I shot over to the machinery sale to spend the rest of my cash on new, more efficient, pieces of equipment. After kitting out my farm with some shiny new vehicles and accessories, I bought some more fuel, seeds, and hiring help to aid me in my monumental task of running this farm.

The hired help and I have come to an understanding, they do all the harvesting whilst I pull up in my new super fast tractor with one of my trailers attached, take what they’ve gathered and speed down to the brewery or port to sell it. It’s a good system, they do the long arduous task of gathering and I have fun driving and selling. Oh and the help insisted I stop making fun of them about their tiny brains, the entitled simpletons.

Here we are working together.

So with the help uhh…helping I’m found myself actually running the farm with a pretty decent degree of competency. We were efficient, motivated, and most importantly hard working. There wasn’t time to stop and think, we just had to keep going, making money, spending it on more equipment, rinse and repeat. It was really coming together, for everything except my corn crops, which my fancy machinery couldn’t bloody harvest. I went back to the store to see what was available for just such a problem but I didn’t have much money in reserve. A smug cashier showed me the required equipment for corn harvesting and I was given the choice of the $225,000 and $315,000 machines, which you then had to buy a corn cutting implements for. With a middle figure held high I left that store and decided to ignore my fields of towering corn and concentrate on the crops I could harvest. Days passed as I continued to harvest and sell my crops, playing the ever changing market to get the best prices from the best places. Eventually I raised enough to buy the machines I needed to cut the corn, and of course with an expense that steep I was reduced to very little money once again. It left me in a bit of a pickle and I had to let some of my helpers go as a result. They understood the predicament I was in, well they said they did but Pea Brain and Captain No Shower as I call them, may as well I just nodded for the sake of nodding, then I suddenly remembered “Oh crap my cows.”

I completely forgot about Zenzi and Pia. I hadn’t fed them in far too long, which explains why they had stopped producing milk, which was a shame as the milk tasted awesome and made me a little bit of money. It tastes so fresh, and creamy, although one batch tasted a little weird, sticky even. Wait a minute, a pair of horns? Is Pia a bull?

That sure explains why the milk tasted funny.

I grabbed some corn for the cows and restored their milking habits once again. Unfortunately it means I need to keep corn reserves, or hay to keep the cows fed, meaning all the money I just spent on the corn harvesting machines will take me a fair while to make back. Oh well, the harvest and selling cycle begins again I guess.

On my trip to sell crops I noticed this traffic jam.

Whoops! Looks like this traffic jam was caused by me leaving an implement in the road, I really am a farmer. I better move that really, the jam is in my way. Well with the implement moved I continued my trips to and from the harvesting fields. It’s getting a bit monotonous now but I’m definitely making progress and it’s amazing how many hours are lost performing the different tasks required on the farm. I’ve been preparing fields for seeds, sowing the seeds, spraying the seeds, harvesting the resulting crop, feeding the cows – when I remember – and of course selling what remains. My equipment is fair more advanced and effective that it used to be and I’m really getting to know how this all works, and whilst it’s hard work and more than a little repetitive, it’s equally rewarding to see the farm and my bank balance grow.

Now that's an impressive herd of cattle.

Mine is less impressive at the moment, but I know what I'm aiming for.

The incident with the implement in the road wasn’t my only recent car road accident. I kind of crashed into a car with my super speedy tractor, knocking it over. It’s okay though. MY tractor is in perfect condition still and the car literally bounced back upright and carried on driving. A little odd for a car to do that I guess but I’m pretty tired and more than a little drunk so it could all be a hallucination.

And what the hell is causing this shadow in the middle of nowhere?

I think I might need to lie down now, these hallucinations are getting weird. Over work must be the culprit, so off to bed I go and next week – when and if I wake up – I’ll get on with raising a huge herd of cattle, have dozens of active fields growing crops, tons of money coming in and then I’ll take over the world…

Wait a minute. The Scarecrow is back!

One Response to “A Farmers Life for Me Episode 3”
  1. avatar Joe Pascal says:

    I’m really enjoying this story – something a little different.

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